Birth control, all my troubles seem so far away
when I'm going up my girlfriend's hole.
Oh, I believe in birth control.

Suddenly, there's a shotgun hanging over me,
it was unexpected pregnancy.
Oh, I believe in birth control.

Why I had to come,
I don’t know she wouldn’t blow
I did something wrong,
Now I long for birth control.

Syphilis,
it just started with a simple kiss
Now it even hurts to take a piss
Oh how did I get syphilis?

Syphilis
Chancre sores and spots upon my skin,
I never should have stuck it in,
Now I will die of syphilis

Why her box was sick
I don't know, she wouldn't say
Now my dripping dick
won't get hard likea yesterday-ay-ay-ay

Gonorrhea.
Nor it's even spread up to my ear,
How the hell did it ever get here.
Oh how did I get gonorrhea.

Leprosy,
I'm not half the man I used to be
Now my fingertips are leaving me
Oh I believe I've leprosy.

Why, her box was sick?
I don’t know, she wouldn’t say
Now my dripping dick
won’t get hard like yesterdaaaaaayyy

Amputees.
You don't even have to spread their knees,
You can slide it in and out with ease,
Oh I believe in amputees.

Hermaphrodites,
They avoid relationships and fights,
They have make-up sex through lonely nights.
I envy those hermaphrodites.

Yesterday
My cock was always coming out to play
Now it needs two weeks to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday